A Little Something for Lory...

So, I have this friend, Lory, and a few months back she mentioned that her birthday was coming up. I told her I'd write something for her if she wanted, and she got VERY excited. When I asked what that might be, she thought about it and finally decided that she wanted a happily ever after for one of my one shot stories. That's cool, cause I kinda wanted one for it, too. :D I've been working on it, but it's not done, and since today is her birthday, I'm gonna post a little teaser...just so she gets a taste of what's coming her way, hopefully very soon. :D

Slowly Jasper looked up at me. "Bella, things looked really quiet in town. Maybe I should go check it out," he offered.

"No, wait here with me. Edward will be here soon. We just have to wait."

And so we did. All night, and Edward never came. The next morning as the sun rose, we ventured out of our little shelter and walked towards town. Things were eerily quiet and I was surprised to not see anyone moving about. The town looked to be abandoned and I worried that everyone had left, yet there were still cars parked along the streets, laundry hanging on clothes lines, windows to houses left open. I knew the town wouldn't have been deserted overnight, especially since everyone was required to attend the weddings scheduled that day, after which there would be a mass celebration. The fear that something was very wrong overwhelmed me, and as we came into view of the meeting building, my stomach dropped.

There were people everywhere, all of them laying on the ground as if they had simply fallen asleep while going about their day. As we walked closer, a sick feeling came over me. I could hear Jasper's breathing pick up the closer we approached, and when he saw his sister, Lucy, he ran to her.

"Luc?" he yelled, as he bent down to pick her up. "Luc?"

I watched and was horrified to see that she wasn't breathing. I slowly turned to look at the other people lying around…none of them were breathing. As my eyes scanned the crowd, I saw small cups littering the ground. Finally, I found Alice, lying with Cynthia on the lawn of the meeting hall.

"Alice!" I said, running to her. Jasper was quick on my heels and he lunged toward her, scooping her up and cradling her body as he cried into her chest.

"No," he yelled, his anguish thick in the air. Little Cynthia's hand was clasped around Alice's shirt and suddenly her bright blue eyes popped open, a shocked look on her face.

“Cynthia?” I gasped, causing Jasper to pull back and look down at the angelic baby face that was staring back at him. He paused, holding Alice in his arms as he looked over them both.

“She's breathing, she's moving,” he said. Lifting his hand, he patted her cheek, calling repeatedly, “Alice, can you hear me? Ali, come baby, wake up. Alice?”

She groaned a bit, not making much noise as she turned her head and finally opened her eyes. Instantly her gaze connected with Jasper's, and a wave of relief seemed to wash over her.

“Jasper,” she whispered, her voice barely loud enough for me to hear.

“I'm here, Ali, I got you.” There was so much love pouring out between the two of them, that I felt as though I was interrupting their private moment. Thoughts of Edward quickly returned to my mind and I looked for him in the crowd, not seeing him anywhere.

“Where's Edward?” I asked, hoping that by chance she had seen him. Her eyes flicked to mine and I nearly fell to my knees from the look she gave me. We stared at each other for a moment before Cynthia began to cry, trying desperately to get Alice to hold her. Jasper put his arm around her, drawing her into his chest, but her cries only intensified, as if she knew the death and sadness that lay all around us.

Alice tried to lift her hand to sooth the distraught little girl, but could barely move.

“What's wrong, Ali?” Jasper asked, suddenly realizing that Alice was not alright.

She tried to speak, but cringed with the effort. Her tongue lulled out of her mouth, and she licked at her lips, trying to turn her head for some reason. I saw a cup laying near her, and I bent to pick it up.

“What are these, Alice? Why are there cups everywhere?” I asked.

She mumbled quietly, lifting her hand to point to her mouth and then grasp at her throat. Jasper sucked in a quick breath.

“Carlisle...did he do this? Was there something in the cups?” he asked, earning an small nod from Alice.

Carlisle was behind this, and as that realization dawned on me, I nearly screamed. Edward was in more danger than anyone else here, and if Carlisle had done this to people he claimed to care about, what kind of horrible things could he possibly have done to Edward?

I began to panic as I looked around at all the people lying around us. Every one of them was someone I knew personally, and my heart was breaking. I needed to find Edward, and I began walking toward the meeting building. Jasper called out to me, yelling for me to stay with him, but I couldn't. I felt a pull to the large white structure that loomed over us, and my feet would not be detoured from their mission. Stepping over the Widow Crowley, as she lie on the steps leading to the front door, I entered the large room.

The smell within the room made my stomach roll. Death. It smelled of rot and sorrow, and I could almost feel the sadness, anger, and disappointment in the air. A sob broke from me when I saw Rosalie and Emmett, slumped next to each other in one of the back pews. As I kept moving forward, I stumbled at the sight of Esme and Elizabeth leaning against one another. My feet stepped over bodies until finally my eyes fell upon my parents. My father's arms were wrapped around my mother, her face buried in his chest. I watched them for a moment, almost letting out a shout of exhilaration when my father's chest moved. He was alive, though his breathing seemed shallow. My mother's finger twitched, and I hoped that she had fared as well as my father, but two things startled me from my thoughts.

A low moan sounded from somewhere to my left at the same time that the distant blare of sirens began to drift in through the doorway on my right. I stood, frozen, watching my father's face as his eyes flickered open at the wailing and high pitched sound he was so accustomed to.

“Daddy?” I whispered.

His slowly turned his head to look at me, and when our eyes met, a smile twitched on his lips. “Bells, you okay?” His voice was soft, and I could barely make out his words as the sirens grew louder.

“Yeah, what happened?” I asked, hoping for some kind of explanation as to what had occurred.

“Carlisle...” he said, turning his face to look at something ahead of him, and to the left of me. When I looked, I suddenly felt my knees go weak, and I reached out to grab onto the arm of the pew and support myself.

Edward.

He was seated on the stand at the front of the room. Ropes were wrapped around him, holding his body in the chair. It looked like he had struggled to free himself. He head was hanging forward and I knew there was no way that he was all right. My stomach dropped as I dry-heaved. I wanted to run to him, to hold him and make sure that he was alright, but just as I steadied myself enough to do it, I heard Jasper yelling to me from the doorway.

“Bella, come on! We have to go, hurry!”

“Bella, go,” my father said. Turning my head back toward him, I saw my mother shift a bit in her seat and felt relieved at the sight of it. “Go with Jasper, we'll find you. I'll get him to you. Now go.”

“Daddy, no. I wanna stay with you, please.” My fingers found his arm, squeezing the soft fabric of his suit jacket.

“Carlisle's still here, you're not safe. Go, I'll find you.”

I nodded at him, acknowledging his words as tears began to tumble down my cheeks. Another moan to my left assured me that Edward was alive, at least for the time being.

“Bella, please!” Jasper shouted from the doorway. The sirens were growing louder and louder the longer I stood in my place, and I knew that we needed to leave if we were to avoid them.

“Find me, and help him. I love you, Daddy,” I said, before turning and running toward the door. Jasper stood there holding Alice and Cynthia in his arms, looking behind him toward the road that led into town. I scooped Cynthia up with my hands, lessening some of his burden, and pulled her tight against my chest. As Jasper hurried down the steps, I turned to look into the church one last time, and was stunned at what I saw. Two bright green eyes stared back at me, his face bruised and beaten, but with a look of overwhelming joy etched across his features. His mouth pulled into a small smile and I could feel the love pouring from him. He was happy I was safe.

I didn't want to leave. I needed to go to him, to tell him that I loved him, but with the threat of Carlisle still looming, and the now visible caravan of vehicles rumbling down the road toward us, I knew I couldn't stay.

“I love you!” I yelled, giving him one last smile—or attempting to anyhow—before I bolted from the building...

(keep in mind, this is rough and unbeta'd, but I don't think it will change too much. I've poured over it too many times already. :D )

Happy Birthday Lory!!!

I hope your day is as wonderful as you are!!!

Fandom For Preemies...

I wrote a fun little one shot for the

Fandom For Preemies

charity event.

Here's a link to the teaser for my story...

http://fandomforpreemies.blogspot.com/2010/11/compilation-teaser-i-like-it.html

And the banner I did for it...

As the founder of the event says -

Preterm birth is a serious problem affecting children across the world. Every year over 20 million children worldwide are born prematurely. Over 1 million of these children will not survive. 1 in 10 of those who do survive will face life-long health complications and risks directly associated with their preterm birth, including serious complications such as cerebral palsy.

The reality is frightening, but it's not hopeless! Thanks to the work of the March of Dimes and its global partners, the survival rate of premature infants is higher than it has ever been.

During Prematurity Awareness Month this November, Fandom for Preemies, with your help, will raise funds to support the March of Dimes as they work to eliminate this global issue. The March of Dimes is the world's largest nonprofit organization for pregnancy and baby health. In 2009 alone, they contributed over 20.3 million dollars to eliminate preterm birth, birth defects and infant mortality across the globe.

In thanks for your support of this worthy cause, fanfiction authors across the fandom will donate one-shots, story outtakes and original works for a compilation. Those who donate a minimum of $5 to the March of Dimes during the month of November will receive this compilation in appreciation.

Give if you can. The compilation is beautiful and full of so many incredible stories!! 1267 pages worth, to be exact! Over 100 authors signed up to help, so you know it's good.

Click here to see more teasers and also for information on how you can donate.

I did this for two little boys that I love.

Ironically, their initials are B and E. :)

Mrs. White Gets Extra Unplanned Perfection with littlecat358

Mrs. White has been lazy, slacking, and total fail at sending new extended versions of her interviews. Hope these make up for it.

And this story is full of Angst and Angry Edward...two of my favorite things!! :D

Mrs. White: Hey littlecat358, thanks for coming to help me with my community service.
littlecat358: No problem, it's my pleasure
MW: Yeah, you'll be glad you did. There's a doctor here that is kind of incredible.
lc: Just kind of incredible?
MW: Makes violating that restraining order from the baseball team totally worth it.
lc: Ah, well, I might have to see this kind of incredible doctor.

MW: You'll like him. So, how did you get started in fan fic?

lc: Ah, yes, D day for my husband. To tell you the truth, I really liked the story of Twilight, but I wasn't obsessed by any means. One of my friends talked here and there about fanfiction and some of the stories, but I resisted for a long time thinking 'well that's silly'. Of course once I finally caved, it was all over. Now, I am completely obsessed with fan fic. I was amazed by the talent and envious that people had the courage to put themselves out there. I spent a lot of time reading and then I started writing without any intention of actually posting. But one day I thought. I can do this and so I did.
MW: I like that...D Day for your husband. I think a lot of Twilight widowers think that way.
lc: Oh my God if he could completely wipe Twilight from the face of the planet, I think he would. He supports my writing b/c it's an outlet for me, but I spend so much time on fanfiction these days that I think he feels neglected.
MW: Yeah, Mr. White writes mean things about Twilight and RPattz in the memo line on his alimony checks. Like that would stop me from cashing those babies. Say you wanna get something to drink before we start this filing?
lc: Uh, yeah, I'm always up for a drink. I’m assuming you mean alcoholic drink? In the morning I usually drink coffee, during the day it’s water, and at night.....a Margarita on the rocks with salt. Oh, yummy. My husband makes them for me when I've had a rough day.
MW: Oh honey, it's always about the liquor. I'm sure they won't mind us carrying around our margaritas while we process the blood tests.
lc: Why would they, we're not employees right? It's not like they're paying us. Maybe we can get them in those really tall plastic cups. You know, the ones you get in Mexico.
MW: Exactly! We're doing this out of the goodness of our hearts. And the fear of prison.
lc: You think Dr. Incredible might want some? I am perfectly willing to share what I have.
MW: I think he'll be too busy drinking in the vision of us in these nurse outfits. I'm glad the costume shop still has a few of the slutty ones left. So, What’s the first story you read?

lc: How'd you get yours too show off so much cleavage. I keep pushing mine up, but it just doesn't work. Well, the first story that I read in full was Wide Awake. Initially I had no idea how the whole thing worked so I did some perusing and selected at random. I almost gave up, but decided to ask for some recommendations. That did the trick.
MW: Oh, my girls are trained. Whenever a hot man is around, it's like they can sense it. Plus I have a lot of corsets...
lc: Oh, I love corsets. Is there a class for training tits or is that something you can learn off the internet?
MW: You know, there should be one. The world is severely lacking in perky boobs. Oh, what is the last movie you saw in a theater?

lc: Hmm. Well we took my son and three of his friends to see Cats and Dogs 2 in 3D for his birthday. Can I just tell you...what a load of crap. My husband I were like, really? We just paid $9 for the movie and $3 for the 3D glasses each for this shit? Oh well, the kids had a good time and that was the point. I'm such a good mom aren't I?

MW: Yeah, you really are. ** tries to remember where her kids are today ** So, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?

lc: I have so many that I absolutely adore, but my favorite is definitely Emancipation Proclamation. I love everything about it. It’s such a captivating and heartbreaking love story. I loved that it actually made me feel the emotions. That's really hard for me, to get so invested in a story, that I physically react. Unless I’m pregnant of course, then I cry when someone stubs their toe. In any case, that is usually my goal when I'm writing, to get others to feel what the characters are feeling. It certainly is my goal when writing UP. I also like the sex scenes. I'm a sucker for smut.
MW: You know, I keep hearing about that story but I have yet to read it. I don't know, I tried...I must be emotionally dead or something cause I got nothing from it. :D
lc: I got all teary and shit a lot during that story. And I don't really cry.
MW: Hmmm, maybe I'll have to try it again. Oh hey, what’s your favorite item on a relish/vegetable tray?

lc: Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots. I love them all. I don't like olives, never have.
MW: ** drops stack of papers she's filing ** What? No olives?
lc: Eww, gross. I like Pickles. Not olives.
MW: Not even in your liquor?
lc: Nope. I'm not a dirty martini kind of gal. I like nothing in my drink but alcohol and something else to hide the taste when it's cheap alcohol.

MW: Wow...I didn't know it was possible to live without green olives. Huh... ** shakes head ** Now, how did you come up with the idea for your story/stories?

lc: I honestly have no idea. I started writing stories when I was ten. They were random and immature, of course, but I loved doing it. I wrote one when I was thirteen about a teenage boy who was accidentally transported to Hell. The devil was actually a women and she had a daughter, but her daughter was kind and caring and took care of the boy and hid him from her mother so he wouldn't get tortured and killed. See, I had a fucked up mind even early on. LOL. I used to write really wacked out and demented poetry too. In any case, this shit just pops into my head. Little scenes play out like movies and I just have to write them down. Anything can spur it on, a song, a scene in a movie, a report in the news. Sometimes they are nothing more than a scene and don't go anywhere. Other times they turn into their own entity like UP did. I have about 7 or 8 stories in the works, but they are all taking a backseat to UP right now.
MW: Oh hey, that doctor is here. Look at the piece of man over there... He's pretty.
lc: Huh, pretty is an understatement.
MW: Yeah, he's RPattz kinda pretty. I wonder if he wants me to have his babies?
lc: No, no, no sister. I think he wants ME to have his babies.
MW: Wait, if we play our cards right, we both totally could. That much pretty should be spread around. So, who is your celebrity crush?

lc: Oh goodness. I have quite a crush on Peter Facinelli. Everything about him makes me a little gooey. Rob and Kellen are both kinda hot too. ;-P But all it really takes for me is a pretty face and rock hard arms, pecs, and abs and I’m drooling. That’s it, I’m not picky or anything.
MW: Hmmmm, PFach. I do love him.
lc: I probably could pick out some not-Twilight men as well, but what's the point really.
MW: I know, when they are all in one show, why fight it?
lc: Oh, he makes me sweat. Jenny Garth is one lucky woman. I like him with dark hair though.
MW: The J word... First she got Jason Priestly and Luke Perry on 90210, then PFach. And now all those pretty little girls. Lucky skank.
lc: I know, right, what a hooker. I want to know what her secret is.
MW: Me too!
lc: I'm pretty sure I could get enough plastic surgery to look like her. I just need to stalk her to figure out her mannerisms. Then maybe Peter wouldn't even notice that I took his wife's place. You think my husband would miss me?

MW: He might miss you for a little while, but hire a maid for the daytime and a hooker for the night time and I'm sure he'll be happy. Oh, but you gotta make sure and use that shampoo she does the commercials for. That might be her secret. So, who is your favorite character to write?

lc: I'll have to remember the shampoo. Hmmm. That's hard to say. I love to write everyone at different points. I love writing Edward when he is the most conflicted. I love writing Bella when she's stubborn and strong. I love writing Esme when she's being cheeky or putting Edward in his place. I love writing Carlisle when he's being goofy and big Charlie when he's being protective. And I love writing little Charlie at all times.
MW: Oh, I love Charlie. He's such a hottie. Like, a real mans man, you know? Especially with that stache...
lc: I'm guessing you're talking about big Charlie? Little Charlie with a stache would freak me out a bit.
MW: Yeah, chocolate milk mustaches don't do it for me.
lc: But they sure are cute.
MW: You know, in the movies? Charlie has all the best lines. So does Jessica...whore.
lc: Super whore. Not quite as big of a whore as she is in UP though.
MW: You know it. Oh man, that nurse over there is talking to Hot Doc, I hate that. We gotta find a way to get his attention. Oh, how many pairs of shoes do you have?

lc: Oh my God, a lot. I have a serious shoe problem. Every time I come home with a new pair my husband says “really? More shoes? (or boots).” I wish that I could afford some Jimmy Choos or some Christian Louboutins, but I can't. I suppose that's the price I pay for the luxury of being a SAH mom. Someday ** sigh **
MW: Did you bring any? These 4 inch heels clearly aren't cutting it for me. I need stripper heels.
lc: I do not believe I own any stripper heels. Maybe I should though. If you think that it would catch me some of that.
MW: I think he'd notice them, for sure. Or some thigh high leather boots. I think I left both pairs of mine at home today, darn.
lc: Are stripper heels and fuck me heels the same thing?
MW: Pretty much, except my stripper heels all have a thicker platform on them. At least 2 inches. Anything less than that just isn't pole dance worthy. So, How did you meet and get your beta?

lc: My first beta is the friend who introduced me to Fan Fiction. She and I met through a playgroup when our oldest kids were babies. She is the very first person I trusted to read anything I've written and she encouraged me to post it. I met Melee 03 and Twilight0715 through Twilighted. Melee03 made one of my banners for me and my blinkie and Twilight0715 was a really active member on the thread. When I asked for pre-readers/betas, they offered and I was thrilled. There were so many conflicting emotions from my readers/reviewers that I felt like I needed extra help to make sure I was staying true to my characters. I have to be hyper aware of making sure that I don't lose my characters personalities.
MW: Cool, good thinking. Hey, speaking of stripper heels, if you could be on any reality tv show, what would it be?

lc: So You Think You Can Dance. I can't dance, but if I were on the show that would mean that I could right? I'm not sure they'd be too thrilled if I tried to pole dance on that show though. I'd be in the "worst of" highlights. Not quite sure I want that kind of attention.
MW: Yeah, maybe not. I always love those "worst of" highlights, though. They make me laugh.
lc: I always feel bad for those people. I want to shout at the tv "doesn't anyone love you enough to tell you not to do it?" That was mean, I'm sorry.
MW: Oh man, I feel that way when I watch America Idol! I just want to shake those people.
lc: I just think that if I sucked at something, I would hope that my family wouldn't let me go on national tv to prove just how much.
MW: True. Oh, look at Hot Doc and that little girl... I think my ovaries are exploding.
lc: Awww, so sweet. Do you think it's possible for ovaries to actually explode?

MW: I don't know, but it sure feels like mine might. ** adjusts skirt to show more of her garter belts ** Yeah, he's gonna make a great father. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

lc: I get a little giddy usually. Okay, fine, I get a lot giddy. I have loved to write forever, but I never trusted that I was any good at it. To hear that people actually like what I'm doing blows my mind. To hear that I am eliciting such strong emotions makes me want to cry. In a good way. I do worry occasionally though that I will let people down. It makes me nervous, but it's worth it. Totally worth it. Speaking of, did you see that picture of Kellan Lutz with the baby on Twitpic?
MW: NO!!! How did I miss this?
lc: Oh my God. Sooo gorgeous.
MW: Oh man...my Twitter suppliers are failing me. I wonder what new RobPorn they are withholding too?
lc: I'm assuming you've seen the new RobPorn. I literally tried to lick my computer screen. And that's just fucking gross. But totally worth it.
MW: The sunglasses one?
lc: There's a whole set of them.
MW: Oh yeah... You know, if Rob were to manufacture lickable screens with the taste of him on them, he'd be a very rich man.
lc: Yes, yes he would.
MW: Speaking of licking, If you could get it on with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

lc: I do have a secret crush on Carlisle, well, not so secret anymore, but nevertheless. I also would have to say Edward. Not necessarily as he has been in the past, but he's got some of my fetishes going on that he has yet to reveal. MMmmm fetishes. I wouldn't mind Jasper either in this one. He gives a mean foot rub. I can only assume his rubbing in other areas might be just as nice. Foot rubs are one of my fetishes.

MW: Ohhhh, just the thought of Jasper...using his hands...on areas... Yum. :D Wow this person's chart is thick! Look at all these STD tests...wonder who that could be. Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

lc: As long as it's not Dr. Hotty’s over there, I don't care. I liked Eclipse. I liked the action in it. I like all the tension between Edward and Jake. As for Breaking Dawn, I like little bits and pieces. I’m a huge fan of HEA and so I’m glad they got that. Of course the fade to black sucked, but I get why she did it.

MW: Yeah, me too. Maybe it's that nurses... ** hee-hee **
lc: Maybe we should 'accidentally' drop the file where he can see it. I really don't want him to get anything. That would kind of put a kink in my plans.
MW: Yeah, it's clearly the right thing to do. Maybe if we lean over the counter and push our boobs together with our arms, he'll notice us a little easier.
lc: See, that's not fair, you have trained boobs. What happens if mine pop out?
MW: And that would be a bad thing, because...
lc: Oh, right. Good thinking. Let's go for it.
MW: Yippee. Oops, almost forgot my mega margarita glass. Don't want to lose that! So, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

lc: Are we talking physically or personality? Physically I would have to say Belle, but personality I would have to say well, I guess Belle too. I’m pretty headstrong, independent, and I usually don’t do what I’m told. I like misbehaving.
MW: Oh, cute. And probably cause the whole reading thing too, right?
lc: I guess, but I'm pretty sure that Belle isn't reading the kind of stuff I am. ** Te He **
MW: I should hope not, you little fic h00r. So, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

lc: I wonder what the beast would say if he caught her with literary porn. LOL I am kind of a new author so maybe I should be taking advice as opposed to giving it. But I guess it would be to be confident in what you are doing. Get someone or several someones you trust and let them help guide you through the process. Take constructive criticism and try not to let other types of criticism get you down.
MW: We'll, he is pretty beastly, so I'm guessing he'd be a little excited by Belle having herself a few smutty lemons to read.
lc: We all need a few smutty lemons in our life. I'm certainly reading a whole hell of lot more than I was before I discovered Fan Fiction. LOL
MW: So true...so true. Let's turn that tv in the waiting room on to distract the kids. Maybe we can get Hot Doc over there to give us our check ups. What’s your favorite tv show from when you were a child?

lc: Oh, I had lots. The smurfs was my favorite Saturday morning show. I also loved Punky Brewster. Oh, and my dad and I always had a Saturday night date to watch Star Trek the Next Generation. I loved those nights. I was the only one in the family who would actually watch Sci-Fi with my dad. Now, I'm kind of addicted to really bad Sci-Fi flicks. My husband doesn't understand.

MW: Sweet. You I don't see any of that stuff on the tv. Maybe this Yo Gabba Gabba show will work. It looks freaky. So, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

lc: I have actually really enjoyed 'meeting' other people. The support that everyone is giving me is absolutely amazing. We have a really good time on the Twilighted thread. I have spent hours laughing at and with them. They seem to bringing out my inner perv. She kind of got locked away when I started having kids, but apparently I have found her again. And, of course, I’m gaining confidence in my writing ability. Oh, my God. Seriously DJ Lance freaks me out. And they have a huge orange dancing dildo.
MW: I KNOW!!! I think maybe some freaky moms made that show so that when their kids found the "toys" in their bedroom, they would think it was kids show character.
lc: I noticed, when my kids were looking at the Halloween Costume catalogue this year, they had all the characters except the orange dildo. Can you imagine if a kid came to your door dressed like that. I'd laugh my ass off.
MW: Yeah, cause who wants to dress up like a dick? I mean, really? Well, besides Mel Gibson, but I hear he's getting that under control, so good for him. Whatever.
lc: Does he even have to dress up?
MW: You know, Mel as Hamlet was hot. I kinda loved him back then. What does that say about me?
lc: Um, not much. My husband is from Scotland so I kind of had a thing for him in Braveheart. It's the whole Kilt wearing accented thing.
MW: Oh yeah...that blue face. Who wouldn't love that? And seriously, you're giving up a Scottish, kilt wearing hub for Hot Doc? Maybe we can just work out a trade or something. Will he talk to me with an accent?
lc: Of course. It's a lot more Americanized now, but a lot of people still can't understand him. Especially if he's drunk or using slang.
MW: Oh, we'd fit great then. I'm always drunk. I wanted to ask you, how did you choose your pen name/username?

lc: I have no idea where the littlecat came from. I just came up with it when I was leaving a review on one of those consumer sites. The 358 come from the years my kids were born (03, 05, 08) Ah, those were good years. Other than the whole gaining a million pounds and blowing up like a puffer fish thing.
MW: Ehhh, I refer to those as the Pre-RPattz years. Everything before his scene in Vanity Fair ended up on the cutting room floor is hazy to me.
lc: LOL. That Vanity Fair shoot was Hot. I think I have it hiding somewhere in my home office.
MW: Yeah, but I mean that Reese movie. You know, where he played her son. Now he's gonna be playing her boyfriend in that new elephant movie. Isn't that like movie incest or something?
lc: He played Reese's son? What movie was that? She's older than me, does that mean I might still have a chance with him?

MW: Vanity Fair. His part got cut, but you can see it on the deleted scenes or something. He's pretty... And I think it does. I mean, if she could get him on camera and Jake Gyllenhaal in real life, you totally got a shot. Oh, this is important, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?lc: In real life or in fiction? In real life I use ‘crap’ all the time. I also say ‘dang’ and ‘darnit’ a lot. I’d probably have to go through my stories to see what I use there. I do a lot of things subconsciously and my short term memory sucks.
MW: Crap!! I love that word!!
lc: Me too. I find that my kids are starting to use it too, and I'd rather them say that than shit or fuck.
MW: So true, Society and it's "rules." Screw that.
lc: I didn't used to swear at all. My husband does all the time. But, I've found that since I started writing characters who swear constantly, I am becoming increasingly vulgar in my day to day life.
MW: Such a bad influence you are... :D Hey, do you ever use any people from real life in your stories? If so, who and how did you choose them?

lc: I use little bits of a lot of people. Little Charlie is modeled after my own son at that age. He was (and still is) a ball of energy; so sweet and so smart and exceptionally observant. Big Charlie is a lot like my dad. My dad actually even looked like Billy Burke 20 years ago. My sister’s and my boyfriends were always extremely intimidated by our dad. He could send them a threat with just a simple look. Bella is a little bit like me. I tend to run away or ignore problems, I have a shot-gun temper and I’m extremely stubborn. But my kid’s mean the world to me and my main goal in life is to make sure that they are safe and loved and that they grow up to be good people. I’m a lot less bitchy though, usually, and I admit when something is my fault.
MW: Nice. Hey do you think they'll let us draw someone's blood while we're finishing off our second round of margaritas? That could be fun.
lc: Maybe Dr. McHotty will volunteer to be our patient. Or maybe he'd like to stick me. I'd REALLY like that.

MW: Oh yeah, I think we need to get him into one of these exam rooms. I'll drop nurse Ima Slut's chart on the desk here for him. One more question while we let him read her file. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?lc: Um, how about, You’ve been such a good girl that you will be surrounded by gorgeous young men with big biceps, firm chests, ripped abs, and tight asses who’s sole purpose is to give you pleasure. That sounds pretty dang good to me. But shhh don’t tell my husband.
MW: Now that's my idea of heaven.
lc: ** sigh ** I just hope that reading and writing porn isn't a mortal sin. Otherwise, I'm fucked.
MW: Aren't we all deary, aren't we all...
lc: I feel like you've brought me out of my shell a little. I'm kind of liking it.
MW: We'll see about that. ** adjusts her boobs, flashes some thigh, and wiggles her eyebrows at Hot Doc ** Hey, we wondered if you'd come check something out for us. If you'll just follow us into this exam room here...
lc: Yes Doctor, we were hoping maybe you would give us a little bit of unplanned perfection.

**********

I do love that story... And Edward is so Angry... Crap. :D

Mrs. White Gets Extra Physical with Lalina

Oh goodness...Trainerward at your service. I think he could TOTALLY get me to go to the gym once in a while. Yum. :D

Mrs. White: Hey Lalina! Wow, this gym is a lot more crowded than I thought.
Lalina: Mmmm nice eye candy tho! Good call ;)
MW: Hey, Hottie Neighbor Guy said his friends all work out here. He had a swimming party...this gym works.
Lalina: Think they'll catch on if we just stand here staring?
MW: Wait, what? I was distracted by that guy in the corner lifting weights. Um, let's grab these treadmills and I think we'll be good.
Lalina: **looks at treadmill thingamabobbies** How the hell does this thing work?
MW: Beats me. I think we just jump on and it goes.
Lalina: I don't think that's the way it works... where the fuck is Trainerward when you need him? **pushes buttons at random**

MW: Oh, good idea! Let's see if they have a Trainerward here that we can lure over. So, in the meantime, how did you get started in fan fic?
Lalina: I was on a mom’s board and frequenting a thread that was created for Twilight junkies when another mom posted the link to a story on fanfiction.net. I started fic diving but couldn’t find any really good Isle Esme missing scenes so I decided to write my own. :)) The rest is history!
MW: Wow, sounds interesting. I think I'm gonna go with the button that says "Slower than a snail's stroll." I hope that's not too fast.
Lalina: Yeah really, I didn't get a butt like this from walking around fast, tell you that much!
MW: Yeah, the only time I get a burst of energy is when they have a sale at the lingerie store. Or the sex toy shop.
Lalina: Heh... Ok, I think I finally got this thing working. **ogles the guy on the leg spreader**

MW: Oh nice! Man, you look good in that out fit. **adjusts her sports bra** Yeah, so what's the first story you read?
Lalina: Aww this ole thing? **giggles** This is horrible, but I honestly can’t remember the name! It was about Bella and Edward going to a party and that’s pretty much all I remember! heh
MW: Hmmmm, I like parties. And I don't mean Tupperware parties. And that's an old outfit? I had to buy something special for today.
Lalina: Did you visit Alice? ;)
MW: I should have! Nah, I got some retired hooker that only wanted to show me tube tops and micro mini's. Oh, and 6 inch heels.
Lalina: Well you certainly know how to work it girl!
MW: Yes, well, lot's of practice. What can I say? Oh and how many pairs of shoes do you have? You can borrow a few of the hooker heels I bought...
Lalina: Erm… too many according to hubs :)) They have to have that really thick platform though, and clear plastic only
MW: Oh heck yes! When I go whore, I go all the way!
Lalina: Awesome!

MW: Yeah, so what's your favorite fan fic story?
Lalina: Irritable Grizzly Adams by Caligula42 . It’s just a beautifully written story. Her imagery is sublime, and she writes gorgeous prose. Also, the fact that it’s still in my alerts even though she doesn’t get a chance to update often is a pretty good indicator of love! :))
MW: Hmmm, I haven't read that one. It's good huh?
Lalina: Love it
MW: I'll have to try it one of these days.
Lalina: I just wish she didn't have a life so I could get updates all the time. **sigh**
MW: Oh I know, real life is always getting in the way. My kids want dinner, or they need a ride to school. Such a pain.
Lalina: Same here! Right now I'm being summoned to tuck mine into bed!
MW: K **whistles while scanning the room for hot guys to ogle**
Lalina: Back now!
MW: Nice. Those kids got you on a pager or something?
Lalina: Feels like it sometimes....
MW: Yeah. Hey, do you know how to french braid hair?
Lalina:Yes… not very good, mind you!
MW: What about fishtailing?
Lalina: And no, I’m not even sure what a fishtail is… I googled it, I don't know if I'd be very good :D
MW: Trust me honey, it's pretty simple. OH! Leg cramp! Leg cramp!!
Lalina: **massages Mrs. White’s leg** Ooh... ooohhhh... nice lambchop hunny!

MW: You're so good. You have, like, magic fingers. Nice. **winks at Lalina* * So, how did you come up with the idea for your stories?
Lalina: Which one? laughs Ok, short versions…
A Great Disturbance – While reading Eclipse I was convinced Bree would be adopted by the Cullens and it would create a love square. I never did lose that idea so I wrote it out. It um, took a pretty dark turn though!
Love Net – I don’t quite remember. It was my first foray into AH and the idea came to me out of nowhere.
The Sacrificial Lamb – I had a dream of the opening chapter, when Aro offers Bella to Edward. When I woke up, I started thinking of reasons why they’d be in an abandoned warehouse and who they were and the rest of the story sort of spun out from there.
Let’s Get Physical – I blame GLEE! After the episode with Olivia Newton John I had the song Let’s Get Physical stuck in my head for WEEKS. It was awful! And then one day as I was singing, I remembered her video and the idea for an overweight Bella and personal trainer Edward came to me.
MW: Interesting. You know, people kept telling me about your first stories and how wonderful they are.
Lalina: Thank you :D

MW: Yeah, keep them fingers going there, babe. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?
Lalina: Umm… weird! LOL… I love it when someone tells me they enjoy my stories, that’s good enough for me, I don’t need gushing. :)) Let’s save the gushing for Bella’s girly bits! Heh… Really, I’m just a chick who happens to write stuff. Nothing special, really, so it still really surprises me when someone goes fangirly on me.
MW: Oh, I think a few people out there in the fandom wouldn't agree with that. They think you're pretty special.
Lalina: I don't know... I don't do diva. **hee-hee** I'd rather just joke around and have fun with my readers. How's that feel? Better?
MW: **hhhmmmmm** That feels pretty great. If you're not careful, I'm gonna get fake leg cramps every time I see you. And that’s sweet about your readers. Speaking of sweet, you want a candy bar? I think I saw a vending machine on the way in here. Yeah, I'm sure there was a Snickers in there somewhere. I think I saw donuts too.
Lalina: Donuts in a vending machine? Blech. I'm an elitest snacker
MW: Well, you know, those little Hostess ones. The tiny ones with chocolate or powdered sugar on them. They SAY you should eat each one in 2 or 3 bites, but I can stuff a whole one in my mouth.
Lalina: Ahhh... yeah, that's more a hubs snack. I go for the big guns.
MW: Hmmm, a woman after my own heart. Say, you think lifting a flask to my mouth 50 times a day counts as weight lifting?
Lalina: Depends on how much is in the flask. **nods**
MW: Well, it starts out full...
Lalina: Maybe you should do less reps, more weights :D Liquid weight, that is.

MW: Maybe. Not a bad idea, I gotta say. So, who is your favorite character to write?
Lalina: It’s different every story but I seem to be partial to Edward. It’s interesting to me to try and write a male POV and he’s usually such a character!
MW: Hmmmm, I'm partial to Edward too...
Lalina: I love my Wards... **sigh**
MW: Yeah, I need something to wash this down. What's your favorite drink?
Lalina: Iced Tea for non-alcoholic or Frozen Margaritas for alcoholic.
MW: We are SO hitting the bar on the way home. These outfits will really attract us some attention.
Lalina: I'm in! ;)
MW: Yeah, I think that Olivia Newton John headband of yours will really turn some heads.
Lalina: Maybe I can get the DJ to play Let's Get Physical?
MW: Oh yeah! Hey, I wonder if they play music in here? **looks at everyone with their ipods** Let's ask the cute guy behind the desk.
Lalina: You go on ahead, he's checking out your hookah shewz.

MW: Yeah, and why wouldn't he? They are slut-tastic! Oh, I was gonna ask you how you got your beta?
Lalina: My Beta is Beowulfgirl :)) She was an avid reader of TSL. Originally, I wasn’t betaing my chapters on FFN with the plan to have them betad later to replace the originals (I was terribly impatient and didn’t want to wait for edits before posting!) Beowulfgirl approached me to see if I needed a beta because of this. We got to talking, and I put her through stringent tests which she passed! Heh… Basically, I needed someone who could get edited chapters back to me relatively quickly, and she’s awesome like that. She also strikes a great balance between constructive criticism and blowing sunshine up my butt. A hard thing to find, let me tell you!
MW: You know, that is a hard thing to find. You hold on to that girl!
Lalina: You betcha, she rocks my world.
MW: Ohhhh... HEY! Which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?
Lalina: I suppose Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Mostly because she has the brown hair and eyes, she’s lippy and stands up for what she wants and she’s a daddy’s girl. Also cause my hubs can be kind of beastly!
MW: Beastly, huh? Does he have any brothers? **flinches at Lalina’s raised eyebrow** Don't look at me like that.
Lalina: 5 actually. ;)
MW: Score!
Lalina: Pretty sure 3 of them are single.

MW: Nice. I'm SO on that. So, I meant to ask you, Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?
Lalina: Twilight is my favorite. I didn’t mind BD, but I read all 4 books in a row (devoured them in less than a week would be a better description!) so I didn’t have the anticipation of waiting. I also like Jacob so I didn’t mind getting his POV in the story even if it was inconsistent with the other 3. What I DIDN’T like was making Jacob into pretty much a pedophile. That squicked me right the heck out. I would have rather he just found some regular girl to imprint on. It felt too contrived. The last book was also so busy in comparison the first 3, and I was disappointed that the big battle turned in to the fight that never was. It wasn’t my favorite but it wasn’t my least liked of the 4, either.
MW: Yep, me too. Though I'm okay with the imprinting thing. It makes me feel not so guilty for wanting RPattz.
Lalina: Ick.... No, baby loving Jacob was a deal breaker for me. I don't care if SM did try and prepare us with the Quil/Claire pairing. I hated it.
MW: Yeah, I know you're not the only one. So, if you could get it on with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?
Lalina: Just ONE?? Crap… I love all my Wards! ahaa
MW: Oh heck yes! How about we try those bike machine things? They doesn't look too stressful. Plus did you see the guy working out in front of those?
Lalina: No, I missed him. Okay! Biking it is :D
MW: I'll take the one with the streamers on the handle bars.
Lalina: Damnit! This one's even got buttons TOO!
MW: **hee-hee** Let's just start pushing them and see what happens?
Lalina: Ummmm, I don't think you push these kind.
MW: Oh no. Mine has a little dial thingie. It's got all these numbers, 5, 10, 15, 20... What do you think that means?
Lalina: You're asking me??

MW: Right, nevermind. **hee-hee** So, If you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?
Lalina: Don’t let the reviews rule you. I fell into this trap as well when I first started writing fanfic, wondering what I was doing wrong and why other stories seemed to reel in the reviews while mine didn’t. The number of reviews you get is NOT indicative of how good your writing is.
MW: That's right, you tell it sista!
Lalina: It's tough when you start out. There's no magic formula... Some people get lucky on their first shot and others need a few stories under their belts first.
MW: So true. Did you see the way that guy bends? I'll bet he could bend me...
Lalina: Nice tushy.
MW: Mhmm... And those arms are not too shabby either.
Lalina: I'm a sucker for nice arms... mm mm mmm
MW: Yeah...I like shoulders. Oh, hey, Who is your celebrity crush?
Lalina: Again, only ONE?? lol… I suppose Milo Ventimiglia is at the top of that list. Something about that guy just makes me go humina humina!
MW: Yeah, he is pretty. He did a video with Fergie, right?
Lalina: OH! And Channing Tatum too. Yes, that's Milo. **sigh** LOVE HIM!!
MW: **hangs head in shame** I didn't even know who Channing was until I saw Dear John. He's totally on my man meat radar now.
Lalina: He was the dancer in Step It Up :D <--- Aging myself.

MW: Oh honey, you're not any older than me, but yeah...I didn't see that one either.

Lalina: Channing is my Mobward actually.

MW: Ohhh, I can totally see that! What is the last movie you saw in a theater?

Lalina: Need you ask? Eclipse! **heh**

MW: Yeah, me too, except my kids dragged me to see that Toy Story 3 movie. Darned cartoons that make me cry...

Lalina: Awww.... cartoons these days are horrible. I bawled for the first hour of UP. **sheesh** MW: **whistles uncomfortably while trying to get her feet to stay on the pedal thingies** I never saw that one either.

Lalina: If you feel like crying, you should! LOL

MW: Okay, I'll raid the kids dvd stash.

Lalina: Which is pretty sad considering it's a kid's cartoon!

MW: Wow, it's a good thing I like angst so much. So, What is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

Lalina: The friends we make. It’s such a huge community so to find like-minded people is a pleasure.

MW: Oh yeah!! I talk to my online friends more than my real life friends. That's not sad or pitiful, right?

Lalina: Not at all :D

MW: Okay good, as long as you say so. Hey, they are playing Biggest Loser on the tv's in here. Would you ever go on a reality show?

Lalina: The Biggest Loser? LOL… Honestly, I don’t really watch reality TV so I’m the wrong person to ask.

MW: Yeah, do they even make sitcoms anymore?

Lalina: Who knows! The only TV show I watch these days is Dexter. I'm generally doing something fanfic-y in the evenings.

MW: Yeah, me too. Except I watch Glee and Big Bang Theory. I love me the musicals and nerds.

Lalina: **pokes Mrs. White** New guy... ten o'clock!

MW: Oh wow!

Lalina: Love both those shows but once I get in a writing groove you just can't pull me out of it. :)

MW: Here, help me adjust my daisy dukes, I wanna flash a little more butt cheek as he walks by.

Lalina: **yanks Mrs. White’s shorts up higher**

MW: Nice. I think he noticed...

Lalina: Kinda hard not to! **smacks yer ass**

MW: **hee-hee** So, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

Lalina: Crap. I use it all the time! LOL

MW: NO WAY! Mine too!! It's crap-tastic!!

Lalina: LOL I like Crap-tacular myself

MW: Hmmm, yeah, that's nice too. :D

Lalina: It has a great ring to it! Like, did you read that craptacular fic?

MW: Heck yes it does! Hey, how about rapid fire questions? You game?

Lalina: Shoot. **heh-heh** Get it? Shoot? LOL

MW: **hee-hee** You're so snarky.

Lalina: **snark snark**

MW: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Lalina: Right now, Australia so I could visit my crazy Aussie friends. (even though they live on opposite sides of the damned country!)

MW: Do you listen to music while you write? Does music inspire your stories in any way?

Lalina: I do. Certain songs come to me as I write chapters, they don’t inspire the chapter itself but I think “Oh! Such and such song would really fit here.”

MW: What’s your favorite tv show from when you were a child?

Lalina: This is horrible… I can’t think of any! We didn’t watch much TV as kids.

MW: What’s your favorite item on a relish/vegetable tray?

Lalina: You and your ‘favorite’ questions…and always to things where I have more than one favorite! Carrots

MW: How did you choose your pen name/username?

Lalina: It’s a name I’ve used in other forums. I never expected to be a writer of fanficiton, it just kind of happened. Perhaps I would have been more imaginative if I’d known! :))

MW: Um, I think I broke this bike thing. That blonde girl at the desk is looking at us weird. Do you think that's bad?

Lalina: As long as it doesn't start smoking, we're good!

MW: Cool. Dang, that hot guy is going into the yoga room. You think we should follow him?

Lalina: Yoga? I dunno... you need to be flexible for that stuff. <-- so not flexible.

MW: Oh, I'm flexible baby. I'll help you out. Or maybe we can get one of those cute trainers to join us...

Lalina: Ok, you go be bendy, I'll lie on the floor and imitate a speed bump. :D

MW: Yeah, I'm very bendy. **hee-hee** Alright, one more question before I go get my bend on. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Lalina: I’d like him to direct me to wherever my father may be so I could give him a hug and tell him how much I missed him all of these years.

MW: Ohhhh...that's so sweet.

Lalina: **sad smile**

MW: Let's see if I can cheer you up a bit. Looks like a new trainer just came on shift, and he's a red head. I'm thinking you need a good rub down, what do you say?

Lalina: I say Let's DO it!

MW: Yes!!

Lalina: Come on, bb... Trainerward awaits ;)

**********

I do love it when Mrs. White talks to authors I like... :)