Mrs. White: Hey littlecat358, thanks for coming to help me with my community service.
littlecat358: No problem, it's my pleasure
MW: Yeah, you'll be glad you did. There's a doctor here that is kind of incredible.
lc: Just kind of incredible?
MW: Makes violating that restraining order from the baseball team totally worth it.
lc: Ah, well, I might have to see this kind of incredible doctor.
MW: You'll like him. So, how did you get started in fan fic?
lc: Ah, yes, D day for my husband. To tell you the truth, I really liked the story of Twilight, but I wasn't obsessed by any means. One of my friends talked here and there about fanfiction and some of the stories, but I resisted for a long time thinking 'well that's silly'. Of course once I finally caved, it was all over. Now, I am completely obsessed with fan fic. I was amazed by the talent and envious that people had the courage to put themselves out there. I spent a lot of time reading and then I started writing without any intention of actually posting. But one day I thought. I can do this and so I did.
MW: I like that...D Day for your husband. I think a lot of Twilight widowers think that way.
lc: Oh my God if he could completely wipe Twilight from the face of the planet, I think he would. He supports my writing b/c it's an outlet for me, but I spend so much time on fanfiction these days that I think he feels neglected.
MW: Yeah, Mr. White writes mean things about Twilight and RPattz in the memo line on his alimony checks. Like that would stop me from cashing those babies. Say you wanna get something to drink before we start this filing?
lc: Uh, yeah, I'm always up for a drink. I’m assuming you mean alcoholic drink? In the morning I usually drink coffee, during the day it’s water, and at night.....a Margarita on the rocks with salt. Oh, yummy. My husband makes them for me when I've had a rough day.
MW: Oh honey, it's always about the liquor. I'm sure they won't mind us carrying around our margaritas while we process the blood tests.
lc: Why would they, we're not employees right? It's not like they're paying us. Maybe we can get them in those really tall plastic cups. You know, the ones you get in Mexico.
MW: Exactly! We're doing this out of the goodness of our hearts. And the fear of prison.
lc: You think Dr. Incredible might want some? I am perfectly willing to share what I have.
MW: I think he'll be too busy drinking in the vision of us in these nurse outfits. I'm glad the costume shop still has a few of the slutty ones left. So, What’s the first story you read?
lc: How'd you get yours too show off so much cleavage. I keep pushing mine up, but it just doesn't work. Well, the first story that I read in full was Wide Awake. Initially I had no idea how the whole thing worked so I did some perusing and selected at random. I almost gave up, but decided to ask for some recommendations. That did the trick.
MW: Oh, my girls are trained. Whenever a hot man is around, it's like they can sense it. Plus I have a lot of corsets...
lc: Oh, I love corsets. Is there a class for training tits or is that something you can learn off the internet?
MW: You know, there should be one. The world is severely lacking in perky boobs. Oh, what is the last movie you saw in a theater?
lc: Hmm. Well we took my son and three of his friends to see Cats and Dogs 2 in 3D for his birthday. Can I just tell you...what a load of crap. My husband I were like, really? We just paid $9 for the movie and $3 for the 3D glasses each for this shit? Oh well, the kids had a good time and that was the point. I'm such a good mom aren't I?
MW: Yeah, you really are. ** tries to remember where her kids are today ** So, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?
lc: I have so many that I absolutely adore, but my favorite is definitely Emancipation Proclamation. I love everything about it. It’s such a captivating and heartbreaking love story. I loved that it actually made me feel the emotions. That's really hard for me, to get so invested in a story, that I physically react. Unless I’m pregnant of course, then I cry when someone stubs their toe. In any case, that is usually my goal when I'm writing, to get others to feel what the characters are feeling. It certainly is my goal when writing UP. I also like the sex scenes. I'm a sucker for smut.
MW: You know, I keep hearing about that story but I have yet to read it. I don't know, I tried...I must be emotionally dead or something cause I got nothing from it. :D
lc: I got all teary and shit a lot during that story. And I don't really cry.
MW: Hmmm, maybe I'll have to try it again. Oh hey, what’s your favorite item on a relish/vegetable tray?
lc: Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots. I love them all. I don't like olives, never have.
MW: ** drops stack of papers she's filing ** What? No olives?
lc: Eww, gross. I like Pickles. Not olives.
MW: Not even in your liquor?
lc: Nope. I'm not a dirty martini kind of gal. I like nothing in my drink but alcohol and something else to hide the taste when it's cheap alcohol.
MW: Wow...I didn't know it was possible to live without green olives. Huh... ** shakes head ** Now, how did you come up with the idea for your story/stories?
lc: I honestly have no idea. I started writing stories when I was ten. They were random and immature, of course, but I loved doing it. I wrote one when I was thirteen about a teenage boy who was accidentally transported to Hell. The devil was actually a women and she had a daughter, but her daughter was kind and caring and took care of the boy and hid him from her mother so he wouldn't get tortured and killed. See, I had a fucked up mind even early on. LOL. I used to write really wacked out and demented poetry too. In any case, this shit just pops into my head. Little scenes play out like movies and I just have to write them down. Anything can spur it on, a song, a scene in a movie, a report in the news. Sometimes they are nothing more than a scene and don't go anywhere. Other times they turn into their own entity like UP did. I have about 7 or 8 stories in the works, but they are all taking a backseat to UP right now.
MW: Oh hey, that doctor is here. Look at the piece of man over there... He's pretty.
lc: Huh, pretty is an understatement.
MW: Yeah, he's RPattz kinda pretty. I wonder if he wants me to have his babies?
lc: No, no, no sister. I think he wants ME to have his babies.
MW: Wait, if we play our cards right, we both totally could. That much pretty should be spread around. So, who is your celebrity crush?
lc: Oh goodness. I have quite a crush on Peter Facinelli. Everything about him makes me a little gooey. Rob and Kellen are both kinda hot too. ;-P But all it really takes for me is a pretty face and rock hard arms, pecs, and abs and I’m drooling. That’s it, I’m not picky or anything.
MW: Hmmmm, PFach. I do love him.
lc: I probably could pick out some not-Twilight men as well, but what's the point really.
MW: I know, when they are all in one show, why fight it?
lc: Oh, he makes me sweat. Jenny Garth is one lucky woman. I like him with dark hair though.
MW: The J word... First she got Jason Priestly and Luke Perry on 90210, then PFach. And now all those pretty little girls. Lucky skank.
lc: I know, right, what a hooker. I want to know what her secret is.
MW: Me too!
lc: I'm pretty sure I could get enough plastic surgery to look like her. I just need to stalk her to figure out her mannerisms. Then maybe Peter wouldn't even notice that I took his wife's place. You think my husband would miss me?
MW: He might miss you for a little while, but hire a maid for the daytime and a hooker for the night time and I'm sure he'll be happy. Oh, but you gotta make sure and use that shampoo she does the commercials for. That might be her secret. So, who is your favorite character to write?
lc: I'll have to remember the shampoo. Hmmm. That's hard to say. I love to write everyone at different points. I love writing Edward when he is the most conflicted. I love writing Bella when she's stubborn and strong. I love writing Esme when she's being cheeky or putting Edward in his place. I love writing Carlisle when he's being goofy and big Charlie when he's being protective. And I love writing little Charlie at all times.
MW: Oh, I love Charlie. He's such a hottie. Like, a real mans man, you know? Especially with that stache...
lc: I'm guessing you're talking about big Charlie? Little Charlie with a stache would freak me out a bit.
MW: Yeah, chocolate milk mustaches don't do it for me.
lc: But they sure are cute.
MW: You know, in the movies? Charlie has all the best lines. So does Jessica...whore.
lc: Super whore. Not quite as big of a whore as she is in UP though.
MW: You know it. Oh man, that nurse over there is talking to Hot Doc, I hate that. We gotta find a way to get his attention. Oh, how many pairs of shoes do you have?
lc: Oh my God, a lot. I have a serious shoe problem. Every time I come home with a new pair my husband says “really? More shoes? (or boots).” I wish that I could afford some Jimmy Choos or some Christian Louboutins, but I can't. I suppose that's the price I pay for the luxury of being a SAH mom. Someday ** sigh **
MW: Did you bring any? These 4 inch heels clearly aren't cutting it for me. I need stripper heels.
lc: I do not believe I own any stripper heels. Maybe I should though. If you think that it would catch me some of that.
MW: I think he'd notice them, for sure. Or some thigh high leather boots. I think I left both pairs of mine at home today, darn.
lc: Are stripper heels and fuck me heels the same thing?
MW: Pretty much, except my stripper heels all have a thicker platform on them. At least 2 inches. Anything less than that just isn't pole dance worthy. So, How did you meet and get your beta?
lc: My first beta is the friend who introduced me to Fan Fiction. She and I met through a playgroup when our oldest kids were babies. She is the very first person I trusted to read anything I've written and she encouraged me to post it. I met Melee 03 and Twilight0715 through Twilighted. Melee03 made one of my banners for me and my blinkie and Twilight0715 was a really active member on the thread. When I asked for pre-readers/betas, they offered and I was thrilled. There were so many conflicting emotions from my readers/reviewers that I felt like I needed extra help to make sure I was staying true to my characters. I have to be hyper aware of making sure that I don't lose my characters personalities.
MW: Cool, good thinking. Hey, speaking of stripper heels, if you could be on any reality tv show, what would it be?
lc: So You Think You Can Dance. I can't dance, but if I were on the show that would mean that I could right? I'm not sure they'd be too thrilled if I tried to pole dance on that show though. I'd be in the "worst of" highlights. Not quite sure I want that kind of attention.
MW: Yeah, maybe not. I always love those "worst of" highlights, though. They make me laugh.
lc: I always feel bad for those people. I want to shout at the tv "doesn't anyone love you enough to tell you not to do it?" That was mean, I'm sorry.
MW: Oh man, I feel that way when I watch America Idol! I just want to shake those people.
lc: I just think that if I sucked at something, I would hope that my family wouldn't let me go on national tv to prove just how much.
MW: True. Oh, look at Hot Doc and that little girl... I think my ovaries are exploding.
lc: Awww, so sweet. Do you think it's possible for ovaries to actually explode?
MW: I don't know, but it sure feels like mine might. ** adjusts skirt to show more of her garter belts ** Yeah, he's gonna make a great father. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?
lc: I get a little giddy usually. Okay, fine, I get a lot giddy. I have loved to write forever, but I never trusted that I was any good at it. To hear that people actually like what I'm doing blows my mind. To hear that I am eliciting such strong emotions makes me want to cry. In a good way. I do worry occasionally though that I will let people down. It makes me nervous, but it's worth it. Totally worth it. Speaking of, did you see that picture of Kellan Lutz with the baby on Twitpic?
MW: NO!!! How did I miss this?
lc: Oh my God. Sooo gorgeous.
MW: Oh man...my Twitter suppliers are failing me. I wonder what new RobPorn they are withholding too?
lc: I'm assuming you've seen the new RobPorn. I literally tried to lick my computer screen. And that's just fucking gross. But totally worth it.
MW: The sunglasses one?
lc: There's a whole set of them.
MW: Oh yeah... You know, if Rob were to manufacture lickable screens with the taste of him on them, he'd be a very rich man.
lc: Yes, yes he would.
MW: Speaking of licking, If you could get it on with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?
lc: I do have a secret crush on Carlisle, well, not so secret anymore, but nevertheless. I also would have to say Edward. Not necessarily as he has been in the past, but he's got some of my fetishes going on that he has yet to reveal. MMmmm fetishes. I wouldn't mind Jasper either in this one. He gives a mean foot rub. I can only assume his rubbing in other areas might be just as nice. Foot rubs are one of my fetishes.
MW: Ohhhh, just the thought of Jasper...using his hands...on areas... Yum. :D Wow this person's chart is thick! Look at all these STD tests...wonder who that could be. Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?
lc: As long as it's not Dr. Hotty’s over there, I don't care. I liked Eclipse. I liked the action in it. I like all the tension between Edward and Jake. As for Breaking Dawn, I like little bits and pieces. I’m a huge fan of HEA and so I’m glad they got that. Of course the fade to black sucked, but I get why she did it.
MW: Yeah, me too. Maybe it's that nurses... ** hee-hee **
lc: Maybe we should 'accidentally' drop the file where he can see it. I really don't want him to get anything. That would kind of put a kink in my plans.
MW: Yeah, it's clearly the right thing to do. Maybe if we lean over the counter and push our boobs together with our arms, he'll notice us a little easier.
lc: See, that's not fair, you have trained boobs. What happens if mine pop out?
MW: And that would be a bad thing, because...
lc: Oh, right. Good thinking. Let's go for it.
MW: Yippee. Oops, almost forgot my mega margarita glass. Don't want to lose that! So, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?
lc: Are we talking physically or personality? Physically I would have to say Belle, but personality I would have to say well, I guess Belle too. I’m pretty headstrong, independent, and I usually don’t do what I’m told. I like misbehaving.
MW: Oh, cute. And probably cause the whole reading thing too, right?
lc: I guess, but I'm pretty sure that Belle isn't reading the kind of stuff I am. ** Te He **
MW: I should hope not, you little fic h00r. So, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?
lc: I wonder what the beast would say if he caught her with literary porn. LOL I am kind of a new author so maybe I should be taking advice as opposed to giving it. But I guess it would be to be confident in what you are doing. Get someone or several someones you trust and let them help guide you through the process. Take constructive criticism and try not to let other types of criticism get you down.
MW: We'll, he is pretty beastly, so I'm guessing he'd be a little excited by Belle having herself a few smutty lemons to read.
lc: We all need a few smutty lemons in our life. I'm certainly reading a whole hell of lot more than I was before I discovered Fan Fiction. LOL
MW: So true...so true. Let's turn that tv in the waiting room on to distract the kids. Maybe we can get Hot Doc over there to give us our check ups. What’s your favorite tv show from when you were a child?
lc: Oh, I had lots. The smurfs was my favorite Saturday morning show. I also loved Punky Brewster. Oh, and my dad and I always had a Saturday night date to watch Star Trek the Next Generation. I loved those nights. I was the only one in the family who would actually watch Sci-Fi with my dad. Now, I'm kind of addicted to really bad Sci-Fi flicks. My husband doesn't understand.
MW: Sweet. You I don't see any of that stuff on the tv. Maybe this Yo Gabba Gabba show will work. It looks freaky. So, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?
lc: I have actually really enjoyed 'meeting' other people. The support that everyone is giving me is absolutely amazing. We have a really good time on the Twilighted thread. I have spent hours laughing at and with them. They seem to bringing out my inner perv. She kind of got locked away when I started having kids, but apparently I have found her again. And, of course, I’m gaining confidence in my writing ability. Oh, my God. Seriously DJ Lance freaks me out. And they have a huge orange dancing dildo.
MW: I KNOW!!! I think maybe some freaky moms made that show so that when their kids found the "toys" in their bedroom, they would think it was kids show character.
lc: I noticed, when my kids were looking at the Halloween Costume catalogue this year, they had all the characters except the orange dildo. Can you imagine if a kid came to your door dressed like that. I'd laugh my ass off.
MW: Yeah, cause who wants to dress up like a dick? I mean, really? Well, besides Mel Gibson, but I hear he's getting that under control, so good for him. Whatever.
lc: Does he even have to dress up?
MW: You know, Mel as Hamlet was hot. I kinda loved him back then. What does that say about me?
lc: Um, not much. My husband is from Scotland so I kind of had a thing for him in Braveheart. It's the whole Kilt wearing accented thing.
MW: Oh yeah...that blue face. Who wouldn't love that? And seriously, you're giving up a Scottish, kilt wearing hub for Hot Doc? Maybe we can just work out a trade or something. Will he talk to me with an accent?
lc: Of course. It's a lot more Americanized now, but a lot of people still can't understand him. Especially if he's drunk or using slang.
MW: Oh, we'd fit great then. I'm always drunk. I wanted to ask you, how did you choose your pen name/username?
lc: I have no idea where the littlecat came from. I just came up with it when I was leaving a review on one of those consumer sites. The 358 come from the years my kids were born (03, 05, 08) Ah, those were good years. Other than the whole gaining a million pounds and blowing up like a puffer fish thing.
MW: Ehhh, I refer to those as the Pre-RPattz years. Everything before his scene in Vanity Fair ended up on the cutting room floor is hazy to me.
lc: LOL. That Vanity Fair shoot was Hot. I think I have it hiding somewhere in my home office.
MW: Yeah, but I mean that Reese movie. You know, where he played her son. Now he's gonna be playing her boyfriend in that new elephant movie. Isn't that like movie incest or something?
lc: He played Reese's son? What movie was that? She's older than me, does that mean I might still have a chance with him?
MW: Vanity Fair. His part got cut, but you can see it on the deleted scenes or something. He's pretty... And I think it does. I mean, if she could get him on camera and Jake Gyllenhaal in real life, you totally got a shot. Oh, this is important, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?lc: In real life or in fiction? In real life I use ‘crap’ all the time. I also say ‘dang’ and ‘darnit’ a lot. I’d probably have to go through my stories to see what I use there. I do a lot of things subconsciously and my short term memory sucks.
MW: Crap!! I love that word!!
lc: Me too. I find that my kids are starting to use it too, and I'd rather them say that than shit or fuck.
MW: So true, Society and it's "rules." Screw that.
lc: I didn't used to swear at all. My husband does all the time. But, I've found that since I started writing characters who swear constantly, I am becoming increasingly vulgar in my day to day life.
MW: Such a bad influence you are... :D Hey, do you ever use any people from real life in your stories? If so, who and how did you choose them?
lc: I use little bits of a lot of people. Little Charlie is modeled after my own son at that age. He was (and still is) a ball of energy; so sweet and so smart and exceptionally observant. Big Charlie is a lot like my dad. My dad actually even looked like Billy Burke 20 years ago. My sister’s and my boyfriends were always extremely intimidated by our dad. He could send them a threat with just a simple look. Bella is a little bit like me. I tend to run away or ignore problems, I have a shot-gun temper and I’m extremely stubborn. But my kid’s mean the world to me and my main goal in life is to make sure that they are safe and loved and that they grow up to be good people. I’m a lot less bitchy though, usually, and I admit when something is my fault.
MW: Nice. Hey do you think they'll let us draw someone's blood while we're finishing off our second round of margaritas? That could be fun.
lc: Maybe Dr. McHotty will volunteer to be our patient. Or maybe he'd like to stick me. I'd REALLY like that.
MW: Oh yeah, I think we need to get him into one of these exam rooms. I'll drop nurse Ima Slut's chart on the desk here for him. One more question while we let him read her file. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?lc: Um, how about, You’ve been such a good girl that you will be surrounded by gorgeous young men with big biceps, firm chests, ripped abs, and tight asses who’s sole purpose is to give you pleasure. That sounds pretty dang good to me. But shhh don’t tell my husband.
MW: Now that's my idea of heaven.
lc: ** sigh ** I just hope that reading and writing porn isn't a mortal sin. Otherwise, I'm fucked.
MW: Aren't we all deary, aren't we all...
lc: I feel like you've brought me out of my shell a little. I'm kind of liking it.
MW: We'll see about that. ** adjusts her boobs, flashes some thigh, and wiggles her eyebrows at Hot Doc ** Hey, we wondered if you'd come check something out for us. If you'll just follow us into this exam room here...
lc: Yes Doctor, we were hoping maybe you would give us a little bit of unplanned perfection.
**********
I do love that story... And Edward is so Angry... Crap. :D
